Dead to Sin

I have a confession to make. I sin. 

That's hardly a surprise actually. All of us sin. However, the degree upon which we feel the shame and the guilt of sin vary from one person to another. Others feel a guilt so terrible that they condemn themselves while others feel sorry for what they have done but are able to shrug it off at the next moment. Probably for the most of us, we don't even realize that we have sinned. 

I have learned nonetheless that there are some sins that you can easily avoid while there are others that make you struggle so hard you almost always want to give up. The sins that can be seen externally most often are the ones that are easy to overcome. But the sins that lurk in your heart -- the ones that other people wouldn't even know that you have (and most often than not you don't even know you have) -- are the ones that would make you think twice about your character. Then, one day, a thing or a person or a circumstance, causes that sin hiding in the darkness of your heart to come out so viciously and before you know it, you have realized that you have been enslaved by it. This is probably true to most people and that includes me. And now, I'm learning it the hard way. 

The Bible says that when we receive Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, we have become a new creation -- the old has gone, the new has come (2 Corinthians 5:17). We are dead to sin and Christ's righteousness has been imputed unto us. Yet, what many don't understand is that we would never be sinless while we are in this world. John The Beloved says in 1 John 1:8 that "if we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us." While we still have our fleshly nature, we would never become perfect. Our perfection would only come after our earthly death or when we get raptured and meet our God in the clouds.

This does not mean, however, that we have an excuse to sin. In fact, it should be a recognition for us that we would never be able to meet the standards of God no matter what we do. Thus, if we have genuinely accepted Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, we would be humbled by the unending mercies and the unfathomable forgiveness that our God always extends to us. 

One thing I have learned is that, the more we grow in our relationship with God, the more we struggle with sin. Why do I say that? Well, first of all, if you don't have Christ in your heart, you won't even recognize your sins. Your heart would be so calloused that the line drawn between right and wrong would be so blurry if not diminished. But if you have Christ and have become a new creation, you would recognize even the smallest sins. The line drawn between right and wrong would be so clear to you and you would suddenly see the mistakes you do. Some Christians get discouraged by this. Others would even go so far as to doubt their salvation. But Christians only experience this inner conflict because of the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit. 

One of the ministries of the Holy Spirit is to purify us from unrighteousness. Many call this "the purging process". This purging would never end until we are made perfect. And just as purging in the literal sense is painful, so the spiritual sense is painful as well. It's one thing to understand in theory though and another to experience it. 

Earlier I have mentioned that I am learning this the hard way. And it has been literally hard and painful. When I came to recognize this big sin lurking in my heart, I have struggled with it every single day. I have struggled with it so much that it has come to a point that I could no longer serve God without self-condemnation. It was bad -- really, really bad. Many times, God put me face to face with this sin in my heart. Many times, after this confrontation with this specific sin, I find myself at a loss for words, staring at blank space, trying to encourage myself and ask for forgiveness. However, it never went away. Every single day, every single week, coming face to face with this sin torments me. Even when God gave me an encouragement by saying through His Word that He has already overcome the world and that I am also an overcomer through Him, the confrontation never stopped. Until one night, it became so intense that I could almost literally feel the pain in my heart. I struggled so hard that I couldn't even think of anything else but the need and the want to put this sin away. And then I realized one thing -- I was not purged because I'm not letting the Holy Spirit purge me. 

That intense confrontation made me realize that in everything, I should yield myself to the Holy Spirit. Not just in worship and prayer, but also in the sanctification process. So I prayed and literally begged Him to prune me. Painful though it would be, I decided that night, that I no longer want to come face to face with this sin over and over again. I no longer want to be polluted by it nor feel condemned by it. But I just want to be purged and feel the pain that results from the cutting of these dead limbs once and for all and not having to confront this ever again in the future. 

Thanks be to God for His sanctifying work. All the glory and the honor to Him alone.