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Better Than Ever

While I was riding on a taxi yesterday, I heard someone on the radio greeting his friend (whose name happens to be the same as mine) an advance happy birthday. My sister beside me laughed and said, “It sounds like it’s really for you.” I gave out a grin and suddenly remembered that my birthday is going to be next week.

I couldn’t understand if I would be happy because I’ve been blessed with another year again or be dejected because of the fact that I am getting older. But looking at what I was before and what I have become now, I couldn’t help but be grateful and be blissful for the blessings that God has given me.

I was born on August 18, 1986, the last of the four children of a couple struggling to keep their marriage. While growing up, I was aloof from all the members of the family and I was always left at home. I was not the typical child who recreates with friends. I was a home buddy and that made me a very shy person who lacks self confidence. The only friend I had was the television.

Because my sisters and I have very big age gaps, I was often left alone at home. I was still a kid and my sisters were already in college. I understood that I would be a liability for them if they take me wherever they go. So I always stay at home and in the process developed an interest in music that I learned to play various kinds of musical instruments. The musical instruments, they were my family then.

Our family was not a happy family. My father and mother always fought and I always get to be the most affected one. And even if they always talk me out of what our family was facing, I knew that my sisters were struggling to keep their composure to show me that everything was all right even if they were not. When I was in high school, they finally got separated and it even became harder for us financially. My eldest sister had to stop from school and worked hard to provide for the three of us. She was both our father and mother.

With the kind of family that I had, I always had anger in my heart when I was in high school. I was always depressed to the point of being suicidal. But maybe because my father has inculcated Godly values to us, I always feared ending my own life every time I’m about to do “the thing.”

But God has really been merciful to us. Gradually, He lifted us up from the mud that we were in and placed us in a place of safety and security. One by one, all of us graduated from college. My sisters were able to get good jobs and I have landed on one too. He made us strong during the storm and enabled us to survive the turmoil. Now, we are better off than ever.


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