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Everything is not What it Seems to Be

Everything is not what it seems to be.

This phrase always come to mind whenever I read a thriller-suspense book or watch my favorite action series – 24. Heroes become villains and villains become heroes in no time in the world of fiction. And although sometimes the situations that stories present are unbelievable, they certainly support a not-so-bad idea that we probably could seriously take to heart. Do not judge the book by its cover, how ever a cliché it could be, is a more common way to put the statement we could probably only relate to fiction.

Like onions have layers, the personality of man have complexities that certainly not all men have the ability to understand. Sometimes, we even have misconceptions about our own selves! And without doubt, each person has a different opinion about someone else.

Perhaps because of the open-minded education that I was blessed to have, I was able to accept that each individual is uniquely made as early as when I was in high school. I understood that each individual have different upbringings, different family dynamics, and different societies within our known socities, which led them to have different dreams and aspirations, and for sure, different perspectives. It saddens me though that there are people who are quick to judge the book by its cover.

I may not have a lot of proud moments when I was in high school but I undoubtedly believe that I have accomplished to take in a very important lesson that helped me to understand a lot of people better. And that is – accepting people as they are and, instead of despising them because of their attitudes that do not conform to the norm, loving them despite their negatives.

High school is the time when people gets influenced by the society by a great degree and in turn affecting the future that awaits them. Peer pressure is at the strongest by this time and the influence that the society brings affects the teenagers' perceptions, behaviours, and often, choices. When I was in high school though, there were 7 people, including myself, who chose to define ourselves in our own way and thus making the society (our schoolmates) despise us because we were different. We were outcasts.

Lorie was labeled as the overreacting and exaggerated persona. Sherry was labeled as the tomboy. Elizabeth was known as the flirtatious intelligent girl. Katrina was the shy gal. Faye was the humble nerdy type. Ecel was the 'don't mess with me or I'll cut your throat' type. And I? I was the reserved self-destructive type.

For one, I never understood why they told me I was self-destructive. I don't even know what that means. But people who know me certainly would disagree with this description. Because I, like all of my friends in high school, have more layers within me than what they could see and observe.

I got inspired to write about this subject because I feel that there are a lot of people who have different misconceptions about me. Not that I care. I certainly don't need any extra baggage by thinking about how people perceive me but when people treat me this way or that way because they presume that I am like this or like that, it kind of irritates me a little. So, I felt obligated to explain to them some things that they don't know about me.

A very important aspect in understanding a person is to know where he is coming from. Know the dynamics and learn the history, and you'll understand why a person behaves like this and that. That was how I came to love my set of friends in high school. And that's how we should all understand and, eventually, love one another.

I am the youngest of four children, all of which are females. As a product of a troubled marriage, I didn't have much to be happy about as a child. All three of my elder sisters are at least eight years older than I am, so when I was a kid, my sisters were already ladies. I was always kept out of the loop because they thought that I didn't understand. But what they didn't know, their intention of protecting me by hiding the truth had an opposite effect in me. It saddened me greatly and affected my self-esteem. I felt like an outcast. I didn't belong. And although I understood that they didn't want to tell me because they didn't want me to get affected, I was affected anyway.... in a great way, which they didn't know.

As I was growing up, I always felt as if I was alone. I was always left alone in the house because they either had to go to work or go to school. I always had to do my assignments and projects on my own. There was no one there to teach me or guide me because they were too busy attending to their own set  of problems. It was just me... me and my diary.

Until such time that I got so used to being alone that I wanted everybody to stay away from me. I didn't want anybody to touch anything I was working on. I didn't want anybody to influence my choices. My motto: this is my life, no one should rule it but myself. I was able to build a wall high enough, which no one was able to penetrate for a long time.

And that's how the first layer of me came to be. I know that most of my acquaintances perceived me to be this impenatrable being, having her own world, crazy girl who just read books or go online, the boring person who doesn't have a life, and the computer geek who just wants to stare at her laptop all day. Well, I can't say these aren't true, to some degree. These are true only to the people who have judged me only by seeing the outer layer... the people who cannot or will not attempt to peel it off and reveal the inner core. But for the people who have crushed down the walls, I'm sure they see a different thing.

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