A Prayer in the Desert

We had just finished our pictionary sessions for that day when Manang startled us with a shocking news. Immanuel, or Iman as what we usually call him, the only nephew we have, was rushed to the hospital earlier that day. We were kind of late for the news as my eldest sister, Grace, only left an offline message to my other sister's (Nanette) yahoo account. 

It was not really a cause of alarm for me at first as I knew that Ate is some kind of paranoid sometimes. She worries a lot and I thought that she overestimated the gravity of the situation. 

Manang decided to call Ate though it was already around 4am Philippine time. I was only listening, something that I usually do as I'm not good in communicating affection to family members, or to anyone if I may say (but it doesn't mean that I don't care. I do, I really do care.)

She first told us about the situation, that Iman was suffering from a disease worse than pneumonia, that his lungs were dirty, and that air couldn't go inside his body because the organ that connects his mouth to his lungs were inflammed. Medical apparatus were connected to his body including an oxygen tank. 

Then she went on and narrated the events leading to the situation at that time. Her voice began to crack and I could tell that she was so afraid... that something happened that made her fear that they would lose him. She said that he couldn't breathe. The color of his skin began to change from pale white to grayish black. The situation was getting worse every minute that the doctors decided to put a tube through his throat.


I could hear the cry of her voice and the trembling of her flesh. She said she couldn't take it. She couldn't see her son battling for his life and I couldn't either if it was my son. And my tears fell helplessly as I listened to the sound of her agony.

It was one of those moments when I felt helpless and useless. One of those moments when I realized how unpredictable life can be. One of those moments when I felt like there was no one there to help me, no one there to help my sister. One of those moments when I felt that there was nothing anyone could have ever done to prevent what had happened. 

I couldn't do anything. We couldn't do anything but hope and pray that everything would be alright. Thankfully, with God's grace, after three days, Iman was discharged from the hospital stable and so much better. The oxygen tank was removed and he went home bringing along with him his usual energy that captivated all of us. He's well and he's gonna be alright.

In a brief chat with Ate this afternoon, she revealed how scared and how tired she was. She thought of giving up. I couldn't appease her. i just don't know how to. But maybe if I was physically with her, just my presence would have made a difference.  So I decided to write this article and attach the video that Manang, the little kids including Iman, and I, had last December. This was a song number we did during the Thanksgiving Party at NCC. This was our own version of Hillsong's Desert Song. I hope this encourages her. 

Desert Song was written by Jill McCloghry and she wrote it while she was recording for the "This is Our God" album of Hillsong. Just days before the recording, she went into an untimely labour. She was just 6 months pregnant and the baby came out alive, though very little. Her son was incubated and she trusted that he was gonna be okay but it didn't turn out well. Her son died and she was a bit lost. She didn't want to sing because she just didn't feel like it. But she knew she had to do it not because she was assigned to sing a song but because she realized that her circumstances doesn't change that God is God. Thus, she was able to write this song. (Video above)