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My Twilight

I have just finished packing my things and I am almost ready to fly. I have almost done doing everything in my to-do list and right now all I want to do is just to relax. I am going to make the biggest decision of my life and tomorrow is my twilight.

Coincidentally, tomorrow is the Philippine premier of the movie Twilight of which I am a huge fan. Also, tomorrow would be my last day here in the Philippines. Tomorrow, I would be experiencing two very different twilights in my life.

I couldn't really say that going to Dubai is everything that I have always wanted. I told myself before that if I would be able to have a job that could give me the necessary comfort, not the luxurious comfort, I would never ever desire of going abroad. I was able to find such a job. But why am I doing this now?

When I was a young child, all I wanted to do was to run away. I always wanted to be alone and I didn't want anybody to interfere with my decisions for my life. I wanted to tend for myself, stand up for myself, be oblivious of everything that would happen around me, and just be with myself and no one else. I wanted to keep my life simple and simple for me meant happiness.

Things changed when I started to find friends who altered my perceptions about life. I started to feel comfortable with where I was at. I understood myself better and I found a different kind of happiness that I didn't think I would ever experience. From being an extremely shy person, I became one of the loudest persons in the world.

Despite that, I knew that I have to learn. I knew that I have to be more responsible, more independent, and most of all, more dependable. For these reasons, I have decided to run away from all the things that make me comfortable. I have decided to face a life of uncertainty because I believe that this is the best for me and for the people who care for me.

The time for me to go has almost come but I am not as ready as I tell myself to be. I have a lot of questions that I don't know how to answer, a lot of memories that I don't want to leave, and a lot of issues that are left unresolved. But now is not the time for second thoughts, I have decided and I am going to stand by that decision.

Twilight is the period of the day between sunset and full night, the end of the day and the start of the night. Tomorrow is my twilight -- the end of my life of comfort and the start of my life of uncertainty. But before that realization would sink in to me, I would watch Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson's Twilight in the theater. (Very anti-climactic ending! Hahaha.. )



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