Pray for a Partner!

I was surprised by the question that my sister threw at me one time, “Do you now have a boyfriend?” Caught off guard, I honestly said, “None.” It was true anyway. I don’t have a boyfriend now. But by the look of her face I could sense that she didn’t believe me maybe because I am so wasteful when it comes to cellphone credits and because I go out almost every night. It was obvious to her that I am seeing a guy. But I told her that the guy I’m seeing is not my boyfriend. He’s just a summer fling. Hehehe… and I don’t have plans of taking it to the next level with him (or who knows?! Ngek!).

My sister continued to talk about my love life and as usual, I just kept quiet. It was always like that, I just listen to everything she says simply because I just don’t want to say anything. She was persuading me to spit out my affairs with the guy that I’m seeing but I told her that there is just nothing to spit out because nothing is going on between us in the first place. We’re just going out.

It has been months since my ex-boyfriend and I have split up and my sister seems to be becoming impatient about seeing me with a new guy. She’s even more impatient than I am. She even talked about my ex-boyfriend having a new girl and she said she is wondering why I don’t have someone new yet. But just as I was surprised with the question that she asked me earlier, I was even more surprised with how she rationalized my lack of love life.

She said, “Maybe you’re not praying. Maybe you’re not giving God time. How would God give you the desires of your heart if you don’t pay attention to Him? You should pray. The reason why He is not giving you the desires of your heart is because you are too worldly.” Taken aback, I wasn’t able to say a word. I knew that I am exactly what she has described me to be… worldly.

When I found the time to be alone, I contemplated on what she told me and tried to understand how not being able to pray is connected to my love life. The connection was not obvious to me so I tried to browse through the verses in the Bible which I know speak about love, 1 Corinthians 13:

“…Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! …Three things will last forever – faith, hope, and love – and the greatest of these is love.”

This definition of love is legendary yet somehow people have a different perception of what love really is. There are people who interchange love and lust, others think of it as an extraordinary attraction between human beings, while others simply think of it as a bubble gum (kung mopilit makabuang) or a rosary (full of mysteries). But this definition of love in 1 Corinthians 13 speaks of a higher level of love, a love that is perfect.

Reading through the verses while thinking back at the five and a half year relationship that I’ve had with my ex-boyfriend, I realized that what we had was actually not love. It was just an attraction which eventually became an instrument for both of us to fill the need of being needed. The relationship became an obsession on his part and an idol for both of us. It was the exact opposite of what the passages of 1 Corinthians 13 say.

Acknowledging that my former relationship was not a love-based relationship, I tried to look at and observe the relationships of the people around me have in an effort to understand the Bible passages better. The relationships between my father and my mother, my sister and her husband, my friend and his wife, and between all the other couples, have one common denominator – the ‘love’ that bind them together does not exactly match with the ‘love’ that is being described in 1 Corinthians 13.

Each relationship may have different outcomes, but all always comes to a point when each half of the love story becomes impatient, rude, unkind, jealous, boastful, or rude. Couples end up doing wrong things upon each other and hurting each other, and as a result, they keep records of wrongs. The ‘love’ then fades.

Rising divorce and annulment rates are proofs that only very few couples endure. And when they do and grow up old together, most of them just dwell on their friendship and companionship as the main thrust of the relationship. ‘Love’ is often being forgotten.

So, what then is the love that 1 Corinthians 13 is talking about? I don’t mean to interpret the Bible in my own way but for me, there is only ONE LOVE that perfectly fits with the Bible’s descriptions – the AGAPE LOVE, the LOVE of GOD. It’s the only love that lasts forever, the only love that endures through any circumstance, and the only love that is unconditional. Jesus Christ showed the ultimate symbol of perfect love when He died on the cross more than two thousand years ago.

With all these realizations dawning into me, I now understand what my sister meant by praying for a partner. Human beings may not be capable of giving perfect love but God is. And when we all dwell on Him and become true Christians, that is, being able to acquire Christ-like character, we would be able to mirror His love to all the people around us. We would be able to receive and at the same time give the perfect love of Jesus Christ. So from whom else do we ask for someone who would give the same love that God does?

So, to all the single people who are looking for partners, men and women alike, PRAY!