Skip to main content

Pieces of God's Puzzle

I have just recently broke up with my boyfriend, uh well, he's my ex now, and unlike others who imprison themselves in their rooms to hopelessly cry all day and all night, I was surprisingly excited and happy about it. Why? I don't know, actually. Maybe, I have always wanted this to happen. Well, I was with him for five long years and six months and I didn't realize that I became so dependent on him that I thought I wouldn't be able to stay alive without him.

This is not the first time I broke up with him. We broke up countless times before but we couldn't seem to let go of each other that after two or three months of breaking up, we always end up getting back to each other again. But this time it's different. I learned from my mistakes and I'm determined not to commit those same mistakes again.

I know that my friends would think that I would again eat my words. But no, Vianney, Evert, Arrah, Ivy, Delna, Krishna, Naomi, Mayat, Besadee, I'm not going to do that anymore. This time, I really mean it. I really, really, really, really mean it. I don't want to be hurt again. And most especially, I don't want to displease the One Being who has loved me unconditionally just to please one selfish creature who only knows how to love himself.

I have been freed and I am happy about it but the fact that I am facing my life alone makes me feel a little worried about what lies ahead. Would I be able to marry the right person for me, the person that God has molded to be perfect for me, the perfect imperfect person who complements my weaknesses with his strengths?

This question has led me to a lot more questions. How would I be able to meet him in the first place? Would we know that we are meant for each other? Or, would everything start with that physical attraction just like every boy-girl relationship?

Yes, I know. Everything would start from the physical attraction. This realization led me to a question that scared me. Who would ever love, or even like a person like me? Would anybody even take me seriously? Hmmm, sounds like I have lots of insecurities. Yes, you're right! I certainly have lots of insecurities. Too many to mention in fact. I feel as if I'm the lowest of the lowest and the ugliest of the ugliest, the most unimportant among the most unimportant.

But with these thoughts came a realization that amazed me of how fair God is. Some people are beautiful while some are ugly, some are rich while some are poor, some are powerful while some are powerless, some are famous while some are unknown. But all of us have our own struggles that make us humble.

God gave us all our own problems that bring us to our knees in supplication. All of us are just pieces of the puzzle that make up the greater mystery of God. All of us are and all of us will be until the day God's chosen people will be with Him forever in worship.


Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Prayer in the Desert

We had just finished our pictionary sessions for that day when Manang startled us with a shocking news. Immanuel, or Iman as what we usually call him, the only nephew we have, was rushed to the hospital earlier that day. We were kind of late for the news as my eldest sister, Grace, only left an offline message to my other sister's (Nanette) yahoo account.  It was not really a cause of alarm for me at first as I knew that Ate is some kind of paranoid sometimes. She worries a lot and I thought that she overestimated the gravity of the situation.  Manang decided to call Ate though it was already around 4am Philippine time. I was only listening, something that I usually do as I'm not good in communicating affection to family members, or to anyone if I may say (but it doesn't mean that I don't care. I do, I really do care.) She first told us about the situation, that Iman was suffering from a disease worse than pneumonia, that his lungs were dirty, and that air could...
4 comments
Read more

Everything is not What it Seems to Be

Everything is not what it seems to be. This phrase always come to mind whenever I read a thriller-suspense book or watch my favorite action series – 24. Heroes become villains and villains become heroes in no time in the world of fiction. And although sometimes the situations that stories present are unbelievable, they certainly support a not-so-bad idea that we probably could seriously take to heart. Do not judge the book by its cover, how ever a cliché it could be, is a more common way to put the statement we could probably only relate to fiction. Like onions have layers, the personality of man have complexities that certainly not all men have the ability to understand. Sometimes, we even have misconceptions about our own selves! And without doubt, each person has a different opinion about someone else. Perhaps because of the open-minded education that I was blessed to have, I was able to accept that each individual is uniquely made as early as when I was in high school. I underst...
1 comment
Read more

What Happened to Tony Almeida?!

Tony Almeida's new look as a terrorist in season 7 “What happened to Tony Almeida???!” I posted that same message on my YM status about a week ago, describing the wonder that was lurking in my mind about what truly happened to Tony Almeida oblivious of the fact that aside from 24 addicts like me, no one really knows who Tony Almeida is. For that whole day, a number of my YM friends who saw that status message of mine asked mo who Tony Almeida was. I gave them the same answer. Tony Almeida is actually one of 24’s recurring characters. And guess what, they also gave me the same reply. They all thought that Tony Almeida was some filthy Filipino politician who is involved with corruption issues. I was obviously amused by their reactions but at the same time worried about how Tony Almeida’s character would end in 24. The night before, I watched the first two episodes of 24’s newest season. And for those who haven’t watched the new episodes yet, you better not read this post for be...
Post a Comment
Read more