Skip to main content

Pieces of God's Puzzle

I have just recently broke up with my boyfriend, uh well, he's my ex now, and unlike others who imprison themselves in their rooms to hopelessly cry all day and all night, I was surprisingly excited and happy about it. Why? I don't know, actually. Maybe, I have always wanted this to happen. Well, I was with him for five long years and six months and I didn't realize that I became so dependent on him that I thought I wouldn't be able to stay alive without him.

This is not the first time I broke up with him. We broke up countless times before but we couldn't seem to let go of each other that after two or three months of breaking up, we always end up getting back to each other again. But this time it's different. I learned from my mistakes and I'm determined not to commit those same mistakes again.

I know that my friends would think that I would again eat my words. But no, Vianney, Evert, Arrah, Ivy, Delna, Krishna, Naomi, Mayat, Besadee, I'm not going to do that anymore. This time, I really mean it. I really, really, really, really mean it. I don't want to be hurt again. And most especially, I don't want to displease the One Being who has loved me unconditionally just to please one selfish creature who only knows how to love himself.

I have been freed and I am happy about it but the fact that I am facing my life alone makes me feel a little worried about what lies ahead. Would I be able to marry the right person for me, the person that God has molded to be perfect for me, the perfect imperfect person who complements my weaknesses with his strengths?

This question has led me to a lot more questions. How would I be able to meet him in the first place? Would we know that we are meant for each other? Or, would everything start with that physical attraction just like every boy-girl relationship?

Yes, I know. Everything would start from the physical attraction. This realization led me to a question that scared me. Who would ever love, or even like a person like me? Would anybody even take me seriously? Hmmm, sounds like I have lots of insecurities. Yes, you're right! I certainly have lots of insecurities. Too many to mention in fact. I feel as if I'm the lowest of the lowest and the ugliest of the ugliest, the most unimportant among the most unimportant.

But with these thoughts came a realization that amazed me of how fair God is. Some people are beautiful while some are ugly, some are rich while some are poor, some are powerful while some are powerless, some are famous while some are unknown. But all of us have our own struggles that make us humble.

God gave us all our own problems that bring us to our knees in supplication. All of us are just pieces of the puzzle that make up the greater mystery of God. All of us are and all of us will be until the day God's chosen people will be with Him forever in worship.


Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Letter to Elisha Joelle Samarah

My Dearest Elisha, I promised myself that I would write about this day since the very first time I saw your cute tiny face at the Intensive Care Unit in the hospital where I delivered you. I told myself that I would chronicle the events so you would understand how great God is in your life and how you have come to be a miracle in your father and I's lives. However, I cannot tell you everything now for the story of how you came to be is too long for you to understand at the moment and too difficult for me to explain in writing. But, I'm going to try nonetheless, soon, little by little, and hopefully, the chronicles would be complete when you are old enough to comprehend. For now, let me just remember the sweetest yet the most difficult day of my life.  Your father and I did not expect you to come at that point in our lives. I, especially, wanted to achieve a lot of things and did not even think about settling down anytime soon. When I found out that I was pre...
3 comments
Read more

Better Than Ever

While I was riding on a taxi yesterday, I heard someone on the radio greeting his friend (whose name happens to be the same as mine) an advance happy birthday. My sister beside me laughed and said, “It sounds like it’s really for you.” I gave out a grin and suddenly remembered that my birthday is going to be next week. I couldn’t understand if I would be happy because I’ve been blessed with another year again or be dejected because of the fact that I am getting older. But looking at what I was before and what I have become now, I couldn’t help but be grateful and be blissful for the blessings that God has given me. I was born on August 18, 1986, the last of the four children of a couple struggling to keep their marriage. While growing up, I was aloof from all the members of the family and I was always left at home. I was not the typical child who recreates with friends. I was a home buddy and that made me a very shy person who lacks self confidence. The only friend I had was the te...
Post a Comment
Read more

Dead to Sin

I have a confession to make. I sin.  That's hardly a surprise actually. All of us sin. However, the degree upon which we feel the shame and the guilt of sin vary from one person to another. Others feel a guilt so terrible that they condemn themselves while others feel sorry for what they have done but are able to shrug it off at the next moment. Probably for the most of us, we don't even realize that we have sinned.  I have learned nonetheless that there are some sins that you can easily avoid while there are others that make you struggle so hard you almost always want to give up. The sins that can be seen externally most often are the ones that are easy to overcome. But the sins that lurk in your heart -- the ones that other people wouldn't even know that you have (and most often than not you don't even know you have) -- are the ones that would make you think twice about your character. Then, one day, a thing or a person or a circumstance, causes that sin hi...
Post a Comment
Read more