Skip to main content

Back to Where I Belong


Being heartbroken before somehow made me feel that nobody in this world is faithful and loyal anymore. Just recently, I have learned from a friend that my ex-boyfriend, the one I dated for five and a half years, cheated on me all the while and I realized that I never knew him after all. I felt I was used and abused.

Sharing this most recent development about my love life to a long time friend and classmate made me feel even more hostile towards men. Because, as usual, we had similar experiences. Her boyfriend, was also unfaithful. Together we thought that no guy in this world would ever take a girl seriously. Or if he does, there will always come a time that he will become unfaithful. Which made us think, why can't we do the things that they do? It is time to become infidel, we pledged.

So there you go, a few men around me gave me attention and I felt really good and flattered. At first I thought, maybe, one of these guys would end up to be the one that was meant for me. But among all of those who tried to send their messages, only one had the courage to really get near me. And yes, he was successful.

I didn't really like this guy that much. Oh well, not really dislike, he was okay.. overall but he is just not the type that I think I would have as a boyfriend. He was too haughty, too flirtatious, too presumptuous to start with. And I don't even know him that much.

But because I also enjoyed his attention and he was pushy and persistent, he was successful to get near me. We texted and saw each other a couple of times.. well, maybe not just a couple of times.. more than that I guess and he was able to persuade me to do things I didn't want to do. I couldn't understand if I was too shy and too kind to say "NO" or if I was too good to be true.

I thought I could play around with it. I thought I could flirt with him, just flirt with him.. no strings attached. I thought he would be just one of the guys that I've been with in a day and forget the next day. But no, things got a little more complicated than that not because I have developed an emotional connection to him, because I haven't. There were just foolish and immature choices and now I've realized that I regret having made those decisions.

The past three weeks have been so crazy. Yeah, so crazy and chaotic that I almost thought I have lost my mind. I've been to different dangerous situations and yes, I gave in to temptations. But somehow, everything has been a learning experience. I've realized that I do not belong to the world of flirtations and love affairs because I am just not that kind of person. I belong to the world of unconditional and true love. True love waits. Yes, I belong to that world.

God made the woman with the intention of giving her to the man He has made her for. That is God's will and God's intention. And in that idea I am keeping my hope that one day, God will show me the man He has made me for and he would love me with the love of God. That is the world that I belong to.. and it's time to go back to that world.







Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Letter to Elisha Joelle Samarah

My Dearest Elisha, I promised myself that I would write about this day since the very first time I saw your cute tiny face at the Intensive Care Unit in the hospital where I delivered you. I told myself that I would chronicle the events so you would understand how great God is in your life and how you have come to be a miracle in your father and I's lives. However, I cannot tell you everything now for the story of how you came to be is too long for you to understand at the moment and too difficult for me to explain in writing. But, I'm going to try nonetheless, soon, little by little, and hopefully, the chronicles would be complete when you are old enough to comprehend. For now, let me just remember the sweetest yet the most difficult day of my life.  Your father and I did not expect you to come at that point in our lives. I, especially, wanted to achieve a lot of things and did not even think about settling down anytime soon. When I found out that I was pre...
3 comments
Read more

A Prayer in the Desert

We had just finished our pictionary sessions for that day when Manang startled us with a shocking news. Immanuel, or Iman as what we usually call him, the only nephew we have, was rushed to the hospital earlier that day. We were kind of late for the news as my eldest sister, Grace, only left an offline message to my other sister's (Nanette) yahoo account.  It was not really a cause of alarm for me at first as I knew that Ate is some kind of paranoid sometimes. She worries a lot and I thought that she overestimated the gravity of the situation.  Manang decided to call Ate though it was already around 4am Philippine time. I was only listening, something that I usually do as I'm not good in communicating affection to family members, or to anyone if I may say (but it doesn't mean that I don't care. I do, I really do care.) She first told us about the situation, that Iman was suffering from a disease worse than pneumonia, that his lungs were dirty, and that air could...
4 comments
Read more

What Happened to Tony Almeida?!

Tony Almeida's new look as a terrorist in season 7 “What happened to Tony Almeida???!” I posted that same message on my YM status about a week ago, describing the wonder that was lurking in my mind about what truly happened to Tony Almeida oblivious of the fact that aside from 24 addicts like me, no one really knows who Tony Almeida is. For that whole day, a number of my YM friends who saw that status message of mine asked mo who Tony Almeida was. I gave them the same answer. Tony Almeida is actually one of 24’s recurring characters. And guess what, they also gave me the same reply. They all thought that Tony Almeida was some filthy Filipino politician who is involved with corruption issues. I was obviously amused by their reactions but at the same time worried about how Tony Almeida’s character would end in 24. The night before, I watched the first two episodes of 24’s newest season. And for those who haven’t watched the new episodes yet, you better not read this post for be...
Post a Comment
Read more